DOWNHILL (OR, NOT WHAT IT USED TO BE)
From carbon paper to carbon emissions.
From Edward R. Murrow to Bill O’Reilly.
From Audrey Hepburn to Lady Gaga.
From Julia Child to Rachael Ray.
From Ernest Hemingway to EL James.
From Dr. Freud to Dr. Phil.
From I Like Ike to Le Donald.
No wonder I’m so p*ssed off. Not just because I’m about to turn sixty and not just today, but just about all the time and just about everywhere.
On line at the supermarket where I have to bring my own bag and pack my own groceries.
At the gas station where I have to pump my own gas.
On hold listening to the robot telling me my call is important.
At the twenty minutes of trailers and commercials that precede every movie.
At splash ads on the internet.
At cellphones and their rude, clueless users.
At Metro cards that don’t work on first swipe, at double length buses that make Manhattan’s terrible traffic worse.
You name it, it bugs me.
And, right now, you can add Ralph to the list.
Just because we’d been married since about forever did he really have to go on a diet, start exercising, and buy a fancy new wardrobe?
Was he having a mid-life crisis? Or was he having an affair?
For the answer to this question + more, read The Chanel Caper, Book #1 in the Strong, Savvy Women Series.
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