Thursday, April 11, 2013

5 sex thrills (almost) no one talks about.

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Freud asked what women want. Well, Dr. F, here are a few clues:

The vaunted 6-pack? Meh.
The big shoulders and small waist? Big effing deal.
The biceps and triceps? The quads and hammies? Oh, yawn.
Lifts weights like an Olympic champ but won’t lift a finger around the house? Surely you jest.
Bodybuilder Wallpapers Free Download HD - Gym1Bulked-up cover boys remind me of Arnold Schwartzenegger and we all know about him. Or else they bring to mind  narcissistic movie stars who flit from woman to woman and pro athletes—baseball, football, basketball, you name it—with a different baby mama in every city his team blesses with its presence.
I have zero interest in a man who devotes hours to himself and “sculpting” his body. He’s the kind of man I’m going to have to fight for mirror time in the AM, who uses more—and more expensive—“beauty” products than I do, and the kind of man whose self-involvement turns me off, not on.
What turns me on in a man is:
1: Competence—Can he change a tire, fix a leaky faucet? Big plus for sure if he can, but, no, I’m not looking for a handyman. Sometimes I just want the man who knows who to call to get the job done.
2: Humor—Give me a man who can make me laugh—over spilled milk, a bad haircut, a new recipe even the dog won’t eat. He’s the kind of man who can make me smile all the way into the bed room
3: Integrity—Introduce me to the man I can trust. The guy who won’t cheat on me, steal my money or turn into a vampire sucking my energy, ambition, goals, dreams is the man who turns me on and keeps me turned on.
4: Savvy—Set me up with the man who knows how to wangle/charm his way into an airline upgrade, can order in a french/spanish/chinese/dominican restaurant, is knowledgable about finance, art and architecture, movies, tv and world affairs. He’s the man you can live with for a life time and never be one of those couples who sit through dinner without a word to say to each other.
5: Smile—Who can resist a guy with the kind of smile that would melt a glacier or even contribute to global warming? Does his smile start with a glint in the eyes, go to the mouth and light up the whole face? Please. Give him my number and twitter handle.
Oh, and a few more essentials, kindness and, as old fashioned as it sounds, good manners. A man who treats others well—who respects his parents and siblings, his colleagues and co-workers—will treat me well. And nice but not necessary, a guy who can cook dinner and clean up afterwards without acting like turning on the stove or washing a dish will make his man root shrivel up and fall off. But if he's a klutz in the kitchen, he knows how to pick up the phone and order take-out when I'm too tired, too hungry and too cranky to cook.
Spare me the studs. Keep your hunks. You can have those “irresistible” bad boys all the girls seem to love. Just give me a man who appreciates everyday life and knows how to live it.

So, girlfriends, do you agree? Do you have anything to add to my turn-on list?


  1. This is so true, Ruth! I think most women would agree. That picture of the weightlifter is priceless. Does anybody in the world find that hot? Yuck. The other thing I'd add to your list would be: smarts. Not know-it-all smarts, but a guy who has an original, thoughtful take on things and knows enough to form his own opinions always gets my attention.

    1. Anne—Thanks! Isn't that weightlifter a hoot? Makes the point soooo perfectly!

      Smarts is a great addition.Smarts as in a male person who is actually capable of thinking. Inspiring!

  2. Replies
    1. Erica—Thank you for taking the time to comment. I appreciate it. Especially since you "completely agree." Yay! :-)

  3. And for the record, most men don't care for "perfectly-formed" women, either.

    They may look nice on the screen, but the idea of living with one of them is just mind-numbing.

    1. Mark—As I look around me, it's clear that you're completely correct. Besides, the "perfectly-formed" are that way thanks to Photoshop. Even high-paid models are photoshopped. It's all a fantasy. :-)

  4. So true. I'm going to use your blog entry as a check list for my next hero.

    1. Maureen—Thanks! I'm flattered. I never thought of the post as a check list but you're right. I'm soooo sick of "hunks." I wonder how many women agree with me. Lots, I bet. Especially those of us who have lived—and learned.

  5. After 34 years of marriage I have to say I agree with you.

    1. Diana—Thanks for an excellent observation. I've been married for a long time as well and think you've hit on an interesting point. Integrity and all that goes with it = quality and longevity in a relationship.