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Freud asked what women want. Well, Dr. F, here are a few clues:
The vaunted 6-pack? Meh.
The big shoulders and small waist? Big effing deal.
The biceps and triceps? The quads and hammies? Oh, yawn.
Lifts weights like an Olympic champ but won’t lift a finger around the house? Surely you jest.
Bulked-up cover boys remind me of Arnold Schwartzenegger and we all know about him. Or else they bring to mind narcissistic movie stars who flit from woman to woman and pro athletes—baseball, football, basketball, you name it—with a different baby mama in every city his team blesses with its presence.
I have zero interest in a man who devotes hours to himself and “sculpting” his body. He’s the kind of man I’m going to have to fight for mirror time in the AM, who uses more—and more expensive—“beauty” products than I do, and the kind of man whose self-involvement turns me off, not on.
What turns me on in a man is:
1: Competence—Can he change a tire, fix a leaky faucet? Big plus for sure if he can, but, no, I’m not looking for a handyman. Sometimes I just want the man who knows who to call to get the job done.
2: Humor—Give me a man who can make me laugh—over spilled milk, a bad haircut, a new recipe even the dog won’t eat. He’s the kind of man who can make me smile all the way into the bed room
3: Integrity—Introduce me to the man I can trust. The guy who won’t cheat on me, steal my money or turn into a vampire sucking my energy, ambition, goals, dreams is the man who turns me on and keeps me turned on.
4: Savvy—Set me up with the man who knows how to wangle/charm his way into an airline upgrade, can order in a french/spanish/chinese/dominican restaurant, is knowledgable about finance, art and architecture, movies, tv and world affairs. He’s the man you can live with for a life time and never be one of those couples who sit through dinner without a word to say to each other.
5: Smile—Who can resist a guy with the kind of smile that would melt a glacier or even contribute to global warming? Does his smile start with a glint in the eyes, go to the mouth and light up the whole face? Please. Give him my number and twitter handle.
Oh, and a few more essentials, kindness and, as old fashioned as it sounds, good manners. A man who treats others well—who respects his parents and siblings, his colleagues and co-workers—will treat me well. And nice but not necessary, a guy who can cook dinner and clean up afterwards without acting like turning on the stove or washing a dish will make his man root shrivel up and fall off. But if he's a klutz in the kitchen, he knows how to pick up the phone and order take-out when I'm too tired, too hungry and too cranky to cook.
Spare me the studs. Keep your hunks. You can have those “irresistible” bad boys all the girls seem to love. Just give me a man who appreciates everyday life and knows how to live it.
So, girlfriends, do you agree? Do you have anything to add to my turn-on list?
So, girlfriends, do you agree? Do you have anything to add to my turn-on list?